Patient readers, I may regret this one again…
I may have responded to a Facebook group post in the following way…
The casual meme I was responding to was about how ‘All Christians betray God in little ways’. Which I am no doubt doing as I write…
Here’s what I wrote back… it still being a free-ish country…
“I do think I betray him in small ways. But there are often mitigating circumstances.
(I continued to write…)
But it’s like Jesus is saying to me, ‘Oh, you didn’t mention to this or that person that you are a Christian.’ Or, ‘You went to work today and you didn’t share the gospel with anyone. Not even your colleagues. That’s a little betrayal to me, you know?’
And I’m like, ‘Hold on God. If I were to try to share the gospel at work, not only is it unprofessional, but I would likely lose my job, which happens to be a part-time, temporary, insecure, zero-hour contract. And if we really want to talk about betrayal, Lord – what of your apparent negligence in so many of the bizarre and often painful ‘life experiences’ I, and others, regularly experience? Huh? Huh? So, please do not come at me with this accusation of betrayal unless you want me to betray you in a far more real and imminent way. Okay?’
At this point the Lord usually seems to go a bit quiet and seems to say things like, ‘Stop putting words into my mouth. You’re making me look bad.’
Or seems to say, ‘I never said any of this stuff. Quit complaining and count your blessings. I am a great King.’
Or else… simply the silent treatment. And when I say that the silent treatment is, in fact, a form of manipulation, the Lord appears to shake his head invisibly. Except I wouldn’t know, would I? Being as I’ve just betrayed him in a tiny way for the umpteenth time. Like now.
Being as he probably said none of these things, or at least would deny it all, I may, or may not, respond, ‘Whatever God. But I could have actually properly betrayed you and left Christianity by now you know? So count your own blessings in Heaven, where you are probably very comfortable while I’m stuck here in need.’
And we go our separate ways once again.
Then, if I dare to tell any Christians any of this ‘world of Nick’ stuff, they just shake their heads and praise the Lord because they know he butters their bread and I don’t. ‘Keep your eyes on Jesus,’ they might say (if they are feeling kind). And I’m going, ‘He’s INVISIBLE!’
Then they stare knowingly into the sky and say something profound and disarming like, ‘But is he invisible to the eyes of your heart?’ and I feel guilty once again for even expressing anything ever and for the little betrayals I’m possibly guilty of.
A few hours later I come back to them and say, ‘Hold on. My heart hasn’t got eyes has it?’
But they’ve gone by this time and are giving me the silent treatment and saying that it is a perfectly valid way to deal with people and not manipulating others at all, even though I know for a fact that there is a Wiki page on how it is all psychological manipulation of the worst kind in any relationship. But if God does it, it must be okay mustn’t it? And not like a betrayal at all? (even though it so obviously is).
And I’m, like, ‘From here on, I am going to find EVERY SINGLE PERSON people are giving the silent treatment to and talk to them.”
Patient reader, I will update you if anyone likes my reply…